Next week I’m speaking to associates in a large national law firm. One of my subjects is networking and building relationships. That includes something as simple as having lunch with a friend.

Lawyers I coach frequently tell me they are not comfortable selling themselves or their firm and when they invite  a friend working for a potential client to lunch they feel it may seem contrived.

One lawyer said to me:

If I feel it is contrived, what must my friend think?

Believe me, I get it. If you feel it is contrived, I guarantee your friend will also. How do you avoid the feeling?

A few years ago, I wrote: How to Ask for Business Jan 2012. I invite you to take a look.

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If your focus is on helping without any expectation in return, you will come across differently and feel differently.

I read a Selling Power magazine article: You Are the Message. In the article Debbie Allen , who has written about being a “shameless self promoter” offers advice. I liked this thought:

I ask people if they believe that they have something to contribute – a talent, a product, a service that could be helpful to others…

At this point in the seminar lightbulbs begin to come on. “Shamelessness is a good thing,” Allen says. “It means looking for opportunities to serve others. If you believe passionately that you can help the other person, your enthusiasm will only come across as service, rather than selling.”

What is the key to becoming more successful? Take a look at Debbie Allen’s website and her blog. I saw this and absolutely agreed:

WHEN YOU COMMIT TO POSITIONING YOURSELF AS THE GO-TO-EXPERT … YOU’RE COMMITTING TO STEPPING UP TO A BIGGER GAME IN BUSINESS AND IN LIFE!

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Can you position yourself as the go-to expert in something your clients will greatly value?  Start now, you’ll be glad you did.