- Create a yearly Business Plan-If you need a template for a business plan just ask me.
- Breakdown Your Plan-Create 90 days or monthly goals (actions).
- Plan and Schedule Client Development Activities Each Week-Decide what you plan to do, estimate how much time it will take and then schedule it on your calendar.
- Keep a Client Development Journal-Keeping track makes it more likely you will actually do the activities.
- Have a Client Development Partner-Like a workout partner, a client development partner makes it more likely you will do the activities.
- Join Industry and/or Community Associations/Organizations and Seek Leadership Positions-Join just a few organizations and be active to raise visibility.
- Stay in Contact-Use multiple means (notes, calls, lunches, coffee, blogs, email, LinkedIn).
- Conduct Workshops and Seminars for Clients-(Get CLE credit if doing it for in-house lawyers)
- Put Links to Published Articles on Your Website Bio-You want prospective clients to read what you have written.
- Create a Blog-I feel certain you know that blog posts are shorter than articles and they are more timely and more easily shared.
- Create a Guide-This can be a handout at industry presentations. Make it short and concise.
- Read What Your Clients Read-Find out their industry publications and subscribe to them
- Identify Referral Sources-Referral Sources expand your network to prospective clients.
- Write Thank You Notes-Let clients know you appreciate the opportunity to serve them.
- Get to Know Assistants-A client representative’s assistant can be a great source of goodwill.
- Joint Venture Programs with Client Representatives-They will enjoy being asked and working together will help build the relationship.
- Become involved in your clients’ favorite charities-This is another way to build the relationship and let the client know you care about what is important to them.
- Return phone calls and emails promptly-Clients do not want to wait.
- Build database to better understand client needs-This helps bring more personalized contacts with your clients
- Go to events you would rather skip-You never know where you will run into opportunities.
- Have your elevator speech ready-Create several so you can use the appropriate one
- Have your elevator questions ready-People want you to be interested more than they want you to be interesting.
- Call, email and write clients-Just to see how they are doing.
- Do something no matter how small each and every day-Make a list of potential things you can do each and every day.
- Read books about sales and service-Figure out how other businesses do it effectively by reading about them.
- Learn to use AI Powered Tools-If you are not, your competitors will be ahead of you
You Don’t Age Gradually: I’m Proof
For any of you wondering why I’m writing on this subject, I’ll simply say that my law practice peaked when I was in my 50s. I worked really hard. loved every minute of it, made more money than I had ever dreamed was possible and enjoyed both my clients and the lawyers who worked with me.
If I shared with you all the reasons I am proof it would be my longest blog post ever. Instead, I’m writing, not to share my late in life story with you, but to simply suggest I know most of you are late 30s, 40s, or 50s. Go after it while you can.
It seems a long time ago now, but in those days I was up at 4:30, coffee in hand at 4:45, at Cooper Aerobics in Dallas at 5:00 when it opened. I usually RAN 3-5 miles with a goal of 8 minute miles. (I capitalized that just for the fondness of being able to do it). I worked out afterwards and was usually at my desk by 7:30.
Nancy and I joined a Fort Worth workout facility which we had been a member on Labor Day. Rejoining this facility we get a free trainer assessment to set up the best workout program for us. I filled out the one page form, until I got to two a line asking me to list all of my surgeries. There wasn’t enough room on the page for the surgeries I’ve had in 2024, much less those just since 2022 when I had both Cancer surgery and disc replacement surgery in my neck.
I saw numerous articles about the same study during August, just last month.
For our purposes here I’ll send this link to the Stanford Medicine article: Massive biomolecular shifts occur in our 40s and 60s, Stanford Medicine researchers find.
Here is the opening pargaraph:
If it’s ever felt like everything in your body is breaking down at once, that might not be your imagination. A new Stanford Medicine study shows that many of our molecules and microorganisms dramatically rise or fall in number during our 40s and 60s.
I recommend reading the article.
I don’t remember many shifts in my health in my forties. I don’t remember many in my sixtie’s except for one time when I took the train from the Philadelphia airport to Central City. I got off at this one exit and I had to walk up the stairs with both my suitcase and my briefcase. I struggled (later that year my had a hip replacement on my right hip). Finally, a guy probably in his 50s asked if he could help me. I thought maybe for the first time that I was on the backside of the aging curve. I suppose the study suggests it’s not a curve.
Well, I’m 77 now. My major health changes took place in the last three years. I mention that because on LinkedIn I saw recently that one of my friends had been with his law firm in Roanoke, VA for over 50 years, and another friend had been with the same law firm in Roanoke. VA for 45 years. That’s amazing.
Want to Give a Dynamite Presentation: Take a Lesson From Tina Turner
Nancy and I loved the late Tina Turner. As you will see below, we first saw her in 1971 while I was in law school. We followed her career from then forward. This is the third of my “dynamite” blog posts.
I was sitting in the barber chair and looked over and Tina Turner was on the cover of People Magazine. In the magazine was an excerpt from her autobiography that was recently published. Being a huge fan, I had to read the excerpt which was a bit challenging while my hair was being cut.
Reading reminded me of how Tina Turner influenced my presentations when I practiced law.
After I made a presentation at an ABA YLD meeting a young lawyer came up to me and asked how I learned to make presentations? I responded that Tina Turner had taught me all I needed to learn.
It was 1971, I was in my last year in law school when Nancy and I and two other couples sat in the second row to watch The Ike and Tina Turner Revue.
First, Ike and the band came out, then the Ikettes came out and sang.
Then the announcer, in a very deep voice said:
“Let’s welcome the star of the show, the hardest working girl in show biz…Ladies and Gentlemen: Tina Turner.”
Tina was unbelievable. She had the entire audience clapping and singing along to “I Want to Take You Higher.” I don’t remember many of the songs in the middle of the concert, but as it was reaching the end, she sang: “Proud Mary.”
When she finished the crowd was standing and asking to hear more from Tina. Here is a video clip from the 1971 concert tour with Tina Singing “Proud Mary.”
Fast forward to 2000. Tina Turner is live at Wembley Stadium in London. Her opening song: “I Want to Take You Higher.”
Like the concert in 1971, Tina came to the end of the Wembley Stadium concert and sang “Proud Mary.” Once again the audience clamored for more.
Other than my enjoyment of Tina Turner in concert, what is the point for you?
I suggest you take a lesson from Tina Turner when you are giving a presentation.
Start strong and end strong. You have about 90 seconds for the audience to answer the question: “What’s in this for me?” Do not end your presentation with: “Are there any questions?” Instead, as you are approaching the end, say: “Before I conclude are there any questions?” Then, conclude powerfully with a call to action.
In an interview author and expert, Nick Morgan said:
“The last thing you do with an audience is the most important and what they will remember the best. Q&A is open-ended and not in your control. A great speech can be undermined by a hostile or stupid question at the end. So save the last three minutes for a knock-them-dead wrap up that sends the audience on its way with jaws agape.”
Clearly when Tina Turner ends a concert with “Proud Mary” she knocks-them-dead and has the audience wanting to hear more. If you open strong and close strong your audience will want to hear more, and maybe they will even want to hire you.
Big wheel keeps on turning…
Lawyers: Thoughts from a Dynamite Lawyer I Coached
When I was a young lawyer, I wanted to become a rainmaker. Although I’m not certain I ever used that term. My mentor at the time told me I had to join the Rotary Club to meet potential clients. I joined and maybe after two Thursday night dinner meetings I concluded that although the men were all very nice, not one of them was a potential client. A big day in my life was the day I quit the Rotary Club.
You and your colleagues have no time to waste in 2024 and beyond. Years ago I took several hours and shot a Video Coaching Program and created a Particpant’s Guide for lawyers to use.
Go to this Blog to find both the Video Series and the Guide Law Firms: Are You Helping Your Lawyers Get to the Peak of Their Careers? I assure you this will jump start your career and the your lawyers’ careers. Best of all it’s free. It won’t cost a penny.
I’m retired now. I no longer coach lawyers these days. But, in the hopes you will get the most out of the free video program, I wanted to share with you a summary of an email I received years ago from a lawyer I coached. He sent this email to a group of his colleagues who were just starting to work with me.
Cordell’s Coaching Program is a transformational opportunity for people who buy in completely. The main shortcoming is that people who are cynical/skeptical about the process won’t invest the time and effort to reform their daily lives to make the lessons (and the year-long program) work for them.
Cordell’s like a personal trainer – he’s going to work if I show up at 6 am for our meeting and follow his plans but he’s not much good to me if I still am eating Twinkies every day after the workout.
Cordell’s program provides a solid foundation on identifying the skills a person needs to be personally and professionally happy as their career progresses to more advanced stages.
Cordell has helped me focus on what I want long-term, middle-term and short-term out of life and my experience at an AMLAW 100 firm. I think that’s invaluable and suspect many others have reached the same level of enhanced personal and professional satisfaction through this program.
I’m happier today with myself and the firm than I was before I started this program. Nothing the firm has ever done for my development matches the investment that this program has made in my maturation as a lawyer, leader, and person.
During the past year, I have read books Cordell recommended on marketing, self-improvement, public speaking/persuasive skills, new media, people management, building client trust, etc. Cordell has convinced me that I must look to master a range of business skills that will (1) complement my legal expertise, (2) make me more attractive to clients, (3) a better teammate to others in the firm, and (4) a better leader of those who will work under me in the future.
Without Cordell’s pushing/prodding and recommending specific books (and following up on me to discuss them) I doubt I would have read any of this or found time to focus on self-improvement.
With Cordell, I have updated a personal mission/vision statement with personal values of importance to me and a list of 100 experiences in life I want to have; while I have had these things for 15 years, Cordell helped me to really reshape them to reflect who I have become and what I want in the future. Now I have the list handy and I am focused on living up to the statement and figuring out how to fulfill those life experiences, a few each year.
Cordell helped me focus on the basics of client services, in terms of making sure I have regular contact with all my clients and that the contact is always positive in nature. From little things, like sending them articles of interest, or calling to say happy birthday, or sending Christmas gifts telling them I appreciate the chance to represent them, I think I have seen progress with the clients. I’m much less frustrated with my relationships with clients and feel better prepared to handle the difficulties that inevitably arise.
I hope you will find these ideas helpful as you view the videos and use the Participant’s Guide to create a plan, have a better idea on how to build your profile and repuation and work on developing relationship.
How to Set Dynamite Goals: Ask Yourself These Questions
Are you interested in setting dynamite goals, but don’t know where to start? Here are a list of questions you can ask yourself.
The Who Questions:
Who is important in my life?
Who do I want to benefit from what I am doing?
The What Questions:
What are my strengths?
What are my challenges?
What do I want to accomplish?
What do I want to learn?
What do I want to experience?
What contribution do I want to make?
What do I want to have?
What do I want to earn?
What am I most passionate about?
What do my clients need the most?
What do I need to do to accomplish my goal?
The When Questions:
When do I want to accomplish each goal?
The Where Questions:
Where do I want to live?
Where do I want to visit?
The Why Questions:
Why is each goal important to me?
And why is that important to me?
The How Questions:
How do I want to accomplish my goals?
How do I want to live?
Best of Cordell Blog This Decade
I recently visited Mont Tremblant, Quebec and Montreal with my wife, Nancy and one of my former clients and his wife. Obviously the last thing on my mind was my past work coaching lawyers. Montreal is my favorite city to visit in North America. When I was coaching I went to Montreal four times each year. I won’t spend time here explain why Montreal is my favorite, but if you are interested in my take on it my personal email is cordpar@me.com.
While in Montreal, I met with a lawyer I coached several years ago. Among other things she had invited me to join her family for the Sugar Shack experience which is all about Maple Syrup in Quebec in February and March. Her oldest is ready to go to college. So it’s been awhile. Nancy and I also ate dinner with a lawyer I coached with my first Canadian group in 2005. We had a wonderful evening catching up.
While we were away I received an email from a lawyer I coached years ago. He’s the managing partner of his office. He had written to the lawyers in his office, shared with them his experience with me and shared a collection of my blog posts that were most meaningful to him.
I read some and I was surprised by some of the insights I had at the time. At the end of his email, he told his lawyers he planned to invite me to give a presentation at his office. Having been away from working with lawyers for now what seems like many years, I wonder if anything I would have to say about careers or client development would be relevant today.
So, with all that in mind, I decided to republish what I thought at the time were my most relevant blog posts for the decade.
It’s hard for me to process that tomorrow we start a new decade. I look back and 50 years ago, I would finish my first semester of law school and surprise myself with the high grades I earned. On New Years Eve 20 years ago, I was on top of the Magnolia Hotel in Dallas to watch the restart of the Pegasus. For those not from Dallas, here is a Dallas Morning News article: Why is Dallas so obsessed with Pegasus?
If you have read my blog for the last 10 years, what do you suppose the most read posts were? Several posts were by far the most popular and were most tweeted. Here are a few:
- 20 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I was a First Year Lawyer. This was by far the most popular blog I posted in 2010. I came to realize that lawyers like lists and want to avoid other people’s mistakes. When I discovered how popular this post was, I wrote what turned out to be the second most popular post that year.
- 15 Additional Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I was a First Year Lawyer. It was fun to think of 15 additional things. I thought I might be on to something, but 35 things was about all I could could come up with that I wish someone had told me.
- What Would Law Firms Be Like If They Were Led By Women. I read a satirical blog post by UConn professor Gina Barreca, Run by Women the World Would Be Better and More Fun. I realized it was ok for a woman to do a satire, but my blog post could not be a satire. I must have drafted it 20 times and I received advice from at least 10 women I coached. I was blessed to coach many successful women lawyers who moved into leadership positions in their firms. It has been great to see the results of their leadership.
- Six Client Development Myths That Hold Most Associates Back. Why do so many lawyers waited until they became partners, when the pressure was on them to bring in business? I say there are what I call client development myths.
- Law Firms: Some Keys to Successful Client Development Coaching
I know from experience that only a few law firms offer their young lawyers client development coaching. If your firm wants to develop the next generation of rainmakers, here are some tips. T - My 5 Clues to Asking for Business/Closing the Sale. This series was popular because so many lawyers feel uncomfortable asking for business.
- 16 Things Law Firms Expect of New Lawyers. I posted this when new lawyers were arriving at their law firms and I got a sense someone in the firms suggested the new lawyers might want to take a look at the ideas.
- My Top 12 Tips for Law Firm Client Development Professionals. I worked with dozens of marketing professionals in my old law firm and in the law firms where I coached lawyers. Here are some thoughts for the marketing professionals.
- 2015 Planning: Organize into Categories of Your Life. If you are thinking about your 2020 plan, this blog post might help you.
- Are You Pursuing Excellence or Success? A few years ago I received an email from a firm that was proudly announcing the lawyers who had been promoted to equity partner. I had coached all but one of those lawyers. I wrote this blog for those lawyers.
Happy New Year to you. I hope 2020 will be your best year ever. And, I hope 2020-2030 will be your best decade ever.
Why College Sports Matters
As some of you know I am a Virginia Tech grad. As others of you may know Virginia Tech’s women are playing in our first Final Four basketball tournament here in Dallas. Nancy and I are going to watch us play LSU in the first game tonight.
I don’t want to bury the lead, so I’ll just say here that this team and Coach Kenny Brooks have made Virginia Tech grads so proud. It’s not just because they are winning. It’s because of who they are, how they support each other and play as a team. If you care about such things, and have some time, just watch this post game interviews after our team defeated Ohio State in the Seattle regional tournament.
As Elizabeth Kitley said in the interview: “We all come from different places, but this year we came together because we all wanted the same thing. It’s so nice to be at this spot, but we know that we don’t want to be done either yet because we have so much fun playing together.”
She’s right. Our star point guard Georgia Ammore came all the way from Australia to Blacksburg, Virginia.
I read in the Dallas newspaper this morning that of the four teams the oddsmakers in Las Vegas have our Virginia Tech team as the least likely to win the championship. Of course, those same oddsmakers predicted we would not win two games in Seattle to get to the Final Four.
Nancy has always told friends that if I ever have a heart attack it will be from leaping out of my chair to yell at the television during a Virginia Tech football game. She’s right, but why do I care so much?
I’ve never cared about a pro sports team or my high school team like I care about Virginia Tech teams.
Why do I, and thousands of other Virginia Tech grads care so much? I think it is a few reasons.
First, college sports gives us a visible thing for which to be proud.
Second, It provides a reason for us to see friends we’ve not seen in a long time. It let’s us reflect back when we were in school together.
Third, the exposure on national television raises visibility and increases applications by future students. You can be sure, for example, that TCU is receiving thousands of more applications this year after its football success.
Fourth, we feel like the team and its coaches are like a part of our family, even if we never meet them in person.
Finally, I think part of what makes grads care about their college or university is traditions. I could write about several from other schools, but if you went to one you know its tradition.
Ours is “Let’s Go Hokies” at a deafening level, followed shortly thereafter by “Enter Sandman.” The NCAA wouldn’t let us play it at our women’s tournament home opener so the students sang it a capella. This headline appeared in USA Today: “Virginia Tech students sang ‘Enter Sandman’ after the NCAA banned the school from playing it and it was so much better.”
This morning when I clicked on the Dallas Morning News I read “Women’s Final Four preview: Virginia Tech has already made history, but it’s not enough.” The writer suggested that, “Maybe someone at American Airlines Center should add Metallica’s Enter Sandman to the pregame playlist.”
That isn’t going to happen, but if they added it however the number of Virginia Tech fans the place will be jumping. “Exit Light, Enter Night…”
A Gift from Our Daughter and a Story I Told Her
We leave our home at Diamanté for the last time today. We likely will go on record as being owners of a home there for the shortest time in Diamanté history. Yesterday the golf pro took our photo with our favorite caddies. As you can see our photo was taken just as the sun was coming up. We have loved our time here and will be forever grateful for each minute.
Now on to the the gift and story.
Do you remember the first thing you did as a lawyer? Did it go well, or was it a learning experience. In my case it was a learning experience.
Our daughter Jill came up with this idea that she wanted me to write what would essentially become a memoir. She had found a website called Story Worth. and she signed me up. Then I had to start telling her stories.
The site prompts you to write about topics they suggest, permits the person you are writing for, in my case Jill, to suggest a topic, or it allows you the writer to pick a topic. I recommend the site both for you Jill’s age who have parents who are still alive or for those of you with grown up or near grown up kids.
One topic Jill suggested was to write about my first experience as a lawyer. I bet I have told this story sometime in the many years I posted here, but since it is somewhat humorous I will tell it again.
I was admitted to the Virginia State Bar in September of 1971. my bar number was 12227, meaning 12226 had been admitted before me. I had received my orders to report to Norton Air Force Base in San Bernardino, CA on December 6th.
Because I had about three months, a lawyer suggested that I try to get on court appointed lists. I did that and also went to the top men’s store in Richmond, Virginia. Sadly I cannot remember the name of the store.The salesman convinced me to buy one of their most expensive suits. When I told him I could not afford the $295.00 price tag, he set up an account for me allowing me to pay it by the month.
A few weeks later I received my first court appointment. It was to represent a juvenile who, along with a man in his 30s, had been accused of stealing a television. The evidence was pretty overwhelming. The police had caught them in the act before they got the television in their car.
I wanted to thoroughly prepare so I interviewed the boy’s parents and met with him at the Richmond City Jail. I had worked at the Virginia State Penitentiary on Spring Street during law school. The jail was far more unpleasant than the prison.
Finally the day came for me to make my first court appearance and I believe it was my last in the Richmond Juvenile Court and likely any other juvenile court. I remember the prosecution’s case took about five minutes with the police officer testifying to what he saw, details on who owned the television, and the arrest he had made. I don’t remember cross examining the police officer. My juvenile client told me he didn’t want to testify so it was time for final argument.
After the prosecutor once again made it simple, I stood to give my final argument. What could I say? I decided to play on the fact he was a juvenile and the man with him was in his thirties. My juvenile client was led astray by the older man. When I finished the judge called us to the bench.
One of the side effects of chemo, being on a ventilator for five days and other medical issues I have faced this year is a loss of memory. So, when I wrote what the judge said, it is possible I embellished the story I told Jill.
Here is what I claimed he said: “Mr. Parvin, your client has far more experience in court than you do. I’ve gotten to know him well. While I appreciate what you suggested, it is far more likely that your juvenile client led his accomplice astray rather than the thirty year of man led him astray.”
With that, I packed my briefcase and left the juvenile court and never represented another juvenile in my lcareer.
We are Forever Grateful and Moving On…
I received a text today from a lawyer I coached,. He asked how I was doing. It is a very long story, and in journalism there is a rule that I suggested for blogging: “Don’t bury the lead.” So I won’t.
I had surgery in February to remove cancer from my neck. After surgery I had chemo and radiation with all the expected side effects. By July I thought I was recovering. But, I had pain in the other side of my neck with it shooting down my right arm. I had surgery in Cabo and almost died from pneumonia afterwards. As a result we sold our home in Cabo and we are building a home in Fort Worth.
Here are the details of my story.
Many people I know have been through far greater challenges than me, and haven’t shared their stories. In that way I feel selfish sharing mine. I believe I share not to help lawyers I coached and lawyers who read my blog over 15 years. Instead, at this point I feel like I share my 2022 for those lawyers to help me by understanding my angst and just by saying hello. (I no longer use my business email as I have retired.)
After radiation and chemo I had more side effects than anticipated. I recovered from those, was cancer free, and moved to our new home at Diamanté Cabo San Lucas. In July I had severe pain in my neck. Nancy took me to a Cabo hospital where I was given pain medicine such that Nancy was afraid to put me on an airplane to return to Texas. She rightly thought I would create a ruckus and we would be on the no fly list for the rest of our lives.
A Cabo surgeon removed and replaced three discs. Before the surgery, I wrote a text that I don’t remember writing. I asked in the text why I was spending a second night in the hospital.
After surgery I got bacterial pneumonia and almost died. I was on a ventilator for five days. My first memory was our daughter Jill holding my hand. I spent 18 days on my back in the hospital, eating baby food and having more medicine and shots than I can ever remember. I lost 40 pounds. I was an extremely unpleasant patient. I cussed and made an American gesture at the doctor. I was delirious and had the most crazy thoughts you could ever imagine. I don’t even want to share them, so please just think of the worst thoughts possible. None of my thoughts were favorable towards anyone working at the hospital.
I didn’t realize what it was like for our daughter Jill, who had come from Arlington, and especially Nancy. She had spent the entire 2022 caring for me, driving me to doctors, helping me get up in the middle of the night, and worrying about whether I would survive.
I was brought home in Cabo in an ambulance and brought in our casita in a wheel chair. I fell trying to lie down. I spent the following weeks trying to walk, reading many inspiring notes Jill had written to share her love, and sorting through what was real during my hospital visit and what was not. It was a mental struggle. Not wanting the trauma or cost of another health incident in Cabo, we sold our Casita in one day and we will be back in Arlington, Texas November 30.
Throughout my life, I have been inspired by words. This is especially the case when times have been tough for me, like they have been this year. When I was down I needed to hear someone essentially tell me to get up and work harder to get better. At 75, I was challenged.
Graduation speeches are purposely designed to inspire the graduates to go out and change the world. One graduation speech that inspired me was Steve Jobs graduation speech at Stanford in 2005. I have likely included the YouTube video of it in a past blog post and if you haven’t watched it, I encourage you to do so. If you don’t have time, this Forbes article gives you the highlights.
There is a second graduation speech I strongly recommend you watch. It is Admiral McRaven at a University of Texas graduation. He was the Chancellor of University of Texas before stepping down because of health issues. Read about him here. But, please take time to watch and listen to what he told graduating students. I like this YouTube version of it.
These two gentlemen inspire me to make myself better each and every day. I am walking sometimes as much as a mile. I still struggle because the surgery to replace my discs paralyzed my vocal cord on the right side, meaning it never touches the left vocal cord, meaning my voice is a mess, I sometimes can’t swallow. my mouth is dry, and I get out of breath easily. This article describes my situation. Down the road they can do something to help my situation.
Like I said we are here at Diamante until the end of November. I am able to play golf from the most forward tees. In many ways we are sad to be leaving our dream retirement home. It was wonderful for the few months we were here, but, more important than our beautiful home, we will always remember the people who work here.
There are too many incredibly nice people to name, and I would for sure miss one or more. Let me say the guys and gals who work at the front gate greet us by name and chat with us. The caddies, especially Javier who has worked with us for many years, make our golf experience unique and special. The gals who work at the comfort stations greet us and take care of us. The guys and gals who work at the Diamante restaurants take great care of us. The valets who park our car greet us, smile and take care of us. The incredible gals who work in the two pro shops have for twelve years helped us and our guests with tee times. The golf pros and assistant pros we have known over the years have embraced us, taught us, and worked us in on busy days. Each Diamante staff person we met over the twelve years called us by name and made us feel part of their family. They never expected anything back from us other than a smile of appreciation. Nancy and I will be forever grateful for their kindness.
So, we are setting out on a new adventure. We are building a home in Fort Worth. It is minutes from my many doctors, downtown Fort Worth and The Retreat Golf Resort where we play golf. I keep saying to you that this is my last blog post, and maybe this time I may be telling the truth. I am at a point when I am not sure I have anything to say that will help you enjoy your career, but I will leave you with one thought from my experience.
I spent 74 years thinking I could conquer the world, thinking nothing could stop me. I fell along the way, I disappointed myself, but I always got up. This year 2022, I felt for the first time the world had conquered me. There has not been one normal day in 2022. I have not been in control. I have given it over to doctors, nurses and caregivers. I never once from 1947 to 2021 thought I could get cancer. That is what happened to other people. Even after Nancy and I moved into our home in Cabo, I never one time thought I would have emergency surgery in Cabo and almost die. I share this with you simply to say the most unexpected things can happen and change your life forever.
I appreciate each and every one of you I have coached, taught or mentored and those of you who read my blog.
I Graduate Today
If you are here to find the one takeway that will make a difference in your life and career, here goes:
It is not how you treat your clients when you are feeling well that will matter, it is how you treat your clients when you are not feeling well. One other quick takeaway. It is not how you treat your clients when they are feeling well that they will remember. But, they will most definitely remember how you treated them when you knew they weren’t well.
First.I should say I am writing to celebrate our wonderful home at Diamante Cabo San Lucas. Nancy went down on April 11, her birthday to open our house. I hope I will be able to go May 24. We’ll see how I am doing.
When I started writing blog posts for lawyers I never dreamed the title of one would be I graduate today. My graduation will take place at around 9:50 this morning. I don’t think the doctor or nurses will call in graduation, but I will have lived through six chemo treatments and thirty radiation treatments.
If you are like I was a couple of months ago, you might think that means I can shake the hands of the doctors and kiss the nurses and say goodbye. I discovered, as many of you who have gone through this discovered, that when you are a cancer patient your specialist doctors and nurses will be taking care of you for the rest of your life. The radialogist will start scans with a CT scan in a month and I will visit Lauren, my surgeon’s nurse once a month for the next year (just to check on my neck). Lauren makes all the difference in the world to me and my care.
My friends have asked me how I feel now that radiation and chemo are finished, at least for the foreseeable future. I would like to tell them I feel excited I have finished. There is only one slight problem-I am too exhausted to be excited about anything and if I acted excited I would eventually have to swallow and that will both hurt my throat like you know what. I would like to be excited by that would also mean I would have to be awake. I didn’t know that a person can sleep all day and get up go to bed and be out like a light all night. I would like to exercise, but I have’t done that in some time. I would like to read, but I can only concentrate for one to two minutes at tha most.
I know I should be happy to have gotten through this phase of my care, but I have no energy to show it. I tried to take a photo of my burned neck and ear, but I decided to simply say it is burned skin which has created open sores. No matter what I do I leave blood stains all over my pillow case and sheet each night. Doing research on the Internet, I am among the thousands who have had these same side effects. My doctors and nurses tell me they have seen way worse burns than I have.
While writing this blog post, I received a graduation gift from a group of lawyers I coached who have been supporting me. Our doorbell rang and when I went to the door there was a box. I opened the box and took out paper literally all the way to the bottom. When I got there I found a book the group had created of my blog posts each valued. Each lawyer who contributed received a copy of the book for their bookcase/desk. I am told the printer can print more copies.
Retired Toronto lawyer and my friend Phil Moore wrote a forward. He had sat through the first time I met with McCarthy Tetrault lawyers in Toronto. He wrote about my discussion of Seth Godin’s book Purple Cow.. Seth Godin deserves all the credit for creating the Purple Cow marketing concept. In my coaching I found Seth Godin’s books and and blog posts applied to lawyers I coached.
Today I enter post radiation and chemo care. I have been told the next four weeks will be somewhat like the last couple of weeks when it has been hard to stay awake and hard to wallow.
May I end by saying I am looking forward to the first time I can say I am looking forward to the steak dinner I booked at my favorite Dallas or Fort With restaurant. Since it will be a really big deal for at least me, I could create a big fanfare and like a star high school player announcing where he will go to school. I will have hats for the four finalist steak restaurants on a table and at the appointed time I will put on the hat of where I plan to eat a steak dinner and maybe even enjoy a martini. If I go to all that trouble and make it a big deal, you’ll know my taste buds are back.